Sex & Relationship Book

July 9th, 2019

There are plenty books available on all sorts of practical matters of living with ADHD, including a number of good ones on how ADHD impacts relationships. But why is no one talking about how ADHD impacts a couple’s sex life? Isn’t this a pretty important area of adult life? Especially because there is a big overlap between overall relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Here is the book that brings it all together!

ADHD After Dark is the first book that really dives into how one romantic partner’s ADHD can impact the couple’s sex life and relationship overall. It’s based on a seventy-two question survey that had more than 3,000 respondents from couples where one partner has ADHD, so you can have faith in the recommendations. My goal is to help you improve your sex life which will involve doing some important work on your relationship which will involve both partners figuring out how to better manage ADHD (and also live with whatever remains). Creating a great sex life requires you to bring your best—and the connection that comes from great sex makes it much easier to deal with the daily grind of life. Great sex is a goal and also a means to an end—and way too important to ignore.

I know that size doesn’t matter, but this book is big—almost 400 pages that cover everything you need to know (and is easy to skip over what you don’t care about). It covers ADHD, relationships, and sexuality and how they intertwine.

What’s in a Name?

First, I like the playful connotation of sex and other fun stuff that happens under cover of darkness. (And also hopefully in daylight.)

But there is also the other meaning, that ADHD is at its worst when you’re in the dark about what is making your life harder, whether you’re the one who has it or your partner. As in, you know damn well that your life is harder, but instead of attributing it to a brain-based information-processing condition, you’re probably making it a matter of personality, intelligence, motivation, or something else that probably makes both of you feel worse about the whole situation—and powerless to create lasting change. As hard as life can be before an accurate diagnosis, the good news is that it tends to respond pretty well to treatment and there is a lot that you can do about it. Welcome to the light.

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