ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship

There are plenty books available on all sorts of practical matters of living with ADHD, including a number of good ones on how ADHD impacts relationships. But why is no one talking about how ADHD impacts a couple’s sex life? Isn’t this a pretty important area of adult life? Especially because there is a big overlap between overall relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Here is the book that brings it all together!

“With great wit, candor, and sensitivity, Dr. Tuckman not only presents the results of the first large-scale survey of sexual relations in couples where ADHD exists and what problems they may be experiencing.  Just as important, he tells you what to do about it.  As with his other books on ADHD, readers will find here numerous recommendations for how to improve the quality of their relationship.”

–Russell A. Barkley, PhD, clinical professor of psychiatry, Virginia Treatment Center for Children and Virginia Commonwealth University School of Medicine, Richmond, VA

In the very capable hands of Dr. Ari Tuckman, sex and ADHD finally get the attention it deserves! Whether you are a person with ADHD, or a partner of one, or just someone who finds themselves driven to distraction in this age of non-stop social media, there are incredibly valuable lessons in ADHD After Dark to help you get sexually focused.”

–Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and best-selling author of She Comes First

“Many couples impacted by ADHD struggle, and their sex lives show it. So they rightly ask ‘what will make our sex life better?!’  Ari Tuckman, one of the top ADHD therapists in the world, knows. With research to back it up, he shares what strengthens the intimate lives of couples just like you. Read ADHD After Dark, and re-energize those intimate moments!”

–Melissa Orlov, founder of www.adhdmarriage.com and author of the award-winning book, The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD

Bravo! for Ari Tuckman’s ADHD After Dark. It’s about time that someone asked real people to talk about real sex and real ADHD and that’s what Ari did, and boy, did people ever talk! The result is this hugely valuable, engrossing, and fact-filled book. Both serious and celebratory, this unique book is a gem, the first of its kind, and a true find indeed!”

–Edward Hallowell, MD, author of Delivered from Distraction

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Overview

There are plenty books available on all sorts of practical matters of living with ADHD, including a number of good ones on how ADHD impacts relationships. But why is no one talking about how ADHD impacts a couple’s sex life? Isn’t this a pretty important area of adult life? Especially because there is a big overlap between overall relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Here is the book that brings it all together!

ADHD After Dark is the first book that really dives into how one romantic partner’s ADHD can impact the couple’s sex life and relationship overall. It’s based on a seventy-two question survey that had more than 3,000 respondents from couples where one partner has ADHD, so you can have faith in the recommendations. My goal is to help you improve your sex life which will involve doing some important work on your relationship which will involve both partners figuring out how to better manage ADHD (and also live with whatever remains). Creating a great sex life requires you to bring your best—and the connection that comes from great sex makes it much easier to deal with the daily grind of life. Great sex is a goal and also a means to an end—and way too important to ignore.

I know that size doesn’t matter, but this book is big—almost 400 pages that cover everything you need to know (and is easy to skip over what you don’t care about). It covers ADHD, relationships, and sexuality and how they intertwine.

What’s in a Name?

First, I like the playful connotation of sex and other fun stuff that happens under cover of darkness. (And also hopefully in daylight.)

But there is also the other meaning, that ADHD is at its worst when you’re in the dark about what is making your life harder, whether you’re the one who has it or your partner. As in, you know damn well that your life is harder, but instead of attributing it to a brain-based information-processing condition, you’re probably making it a matter of personality, intelligence, motivation, or something else that probably makes both of you feel worse about the whole situation—and powerless to create lasting change. As hard as life can be before an accurate diagnosis, the good news is that it tends to respond pretty well to treatment and there is a lot that you can do about it. Welcome to the light.

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